Self- Reflection Sundays:

These last few months have had me thinking about where I am in life. I'm good at a lot of things but I wonder what is that thing that makes me great? I'm one to have the most ideas in the world. But I'm often terrible at follow through. Then I internalize and feel like people look at me as a quitter. In college, I started in one major. I failed so I switched. I came back. Then I failed again so I switched again. Later in life, I had a career. I quit. I took a break and went back to it. Then I quit again. I've started a lot of things and left when it got hard. I feel people either don't expect much from me, or they expect big things and get let down, or the things that I'm really great at don't get recognized. People don't look at me and see Leader. 

I don't get picked. Well, I'm the one that might get picked to kind of help out. But I don't always fall through with plans. While this isn't always the case, I feel like this has been an overshadowing fact to generalize me. I start things and I don't finish. Are any of you like this?

A lot of times I quit because of fear. Lately I've been thinking I have imposter syndrome. Literally yesterday afternoon I was looking at my YouTube channel and I put in my calendar that I was ready to work on it today. Meanwhile I later saw a friend post about their channel and they had tens of thousands of subscribers. Geesh, I quit before I even got started. What made me think anyone would suscribe to me? I'm not awesome. I don't stand out. This happens all the time. Literally all the time. I think of something and someone else does it, or gets picked to complete my idea instead of me. If I follow through with something, it's nothing to get hyped about, or I fail at it. 

Where is space for the failures? For the people that are all over the place? People deem them "late-bloomers", the mediocre ones. Probably shouldn't expect much from them. They don't produce things that society would scream about. 

There isn't much space for people to be celebrated for being everyday people. So I decided to make my own space...this blog post!

If you've ever felt like this then I promise you, the world has space for you too. Social media will have you feeling like you have nothing to offer the world unless it looks original, is presented perfectly, and shows a great finished product.  Anything else is wack. But who says we have to accept that?

All of this might sound negative but that's another thing. You have the right to give yourself space to feel and accept that your feelings are real. Let me hit you with some more truth though.

You are NOT mediocre. You matter! You are needed! You are exquisite. You're not a hater. In your moment right now you are fine! We must stop comparing. It doesn't matter how "great" they are doing. You are not them. They are not doing better than you because you are you and they are not. Period!

Build yourself a circle that affirms you. Love hard and love genuinely. Grow and improve, but not because you're in a race with anybody. Do it for you. Celebrate yourself and realize that the right people are going to be right there celebrating your small and big wins right with you, and will encourage you when you feel tossed to the side for not being "great".

You don't have to post everything. If you want to, that's okay also. But please stop comparing. Who really posts their failures anyway? Be reminded that nobody has the true story on them, and nobody has the true story on you. Do don't let anyone (yourself include) tell you you're not worth anything. YOUR story is that you are magnificent!