When Happy left before the New Year...

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Hi, I'm Crystal. Happy New Year to you, or maybe you can only resonate with that post floating around social media that just says "Year" cuz 2025? Yes, we are grateful for making it to a new year, but some of us just showing up. We might be lacking "Happy".

For me, 2025 was crazy for many reasons. Daily I would internalize everything and feel like I wasn't doing enough, in any area, including motherhood. I couldn't keep up with anything. There was too much work, too many dishes, too much laundry, where are matching socks. Did I discipline right, did I say the right thing, are they in enough activities, was there enough vegetables, did they get enough sleep, enough hugs, enough 1-4-3s, enough food, too much food, too much yelling, I can't! There's fulfillment, there's love, but there's also exhaustion, and where's Happy?

It was the day after Christmas and my husband discovered that our turtle, Happy, was dead - a very lightweight, minuscule straw, but it broke the camel's whole back. All year I've been trying to do everything I can and hold it all together, 3 boys, changing careers, two dogs, chores chores chores chores, responsibilities, and now Happy the turtle doesn't make it to the new year?

But wait, there's more...

This is where millennial me is really not okay. I grew up on family shows devoting episodes to the loss of a pet, like when Martin the fish died, or of course the funeral for Lamont. He was a good fish. Here I am today, the first day of the new year, almost a week after Happy's untimely passing, and not nare one of these boys have even asked about the turtle. They still don't even know that he is gone.

So on one end, the well-being of this amphibian was on my too-long to-do list and his death heightened my feelings of being a failure. On the other end, I have to figure out how to grieve this weird loss that no one else feels?

What is the lesson in all this? What happens the next time you bust your butt in motherhood and there's little reassurance that you are doing it right. There are no instructional pamphlets, no TikTok videos, no YouTube tutorials to study on how to be the perfect mom, yet we are constantly inadvertently or intentionally collecting data from others on how to be better that what we are. The truth is, you don't need to pay attention to any other inspiration or judgement. You are doing an incredible job because you're doing the best you can. Comparison is truly harmful and sometimes we need to take a step back from seeing all the opinions on raising kids. Maybe this year, you focus on being content with what works for the best in your own household 🤎🤎

Claim your Happy New Year