Self-Reflection Sundays: Thanksgiving

Gobble Gobble! This past week we celebrated a holiday which, like many others, is known for getting together with family and friends to eat, watch sports, eat, play games, and eat some more. Thanksgiving looked a little different this year for many of us. Some had to face the day knowing that their loved ones are no longer with them. Some were working and couldn't really see family and friends. Some are still missing their kidnapped family members. Others couldn't see family and friends because they wanted to take precautions due to Covid. There is so much happening and so I think we all can agree that there were many reasons to NOT be grateful this Thanksgiving. This season is a time to think about your blessings, yet of course, sometimes in life there are situations that tend to overshadow the holidays. 

So here I am, with an amazing life, but it can feel pretty unamazing sometimes, with the busyness of raising a toddler and infant, sadness from missing my friends and family, a whole lot of dreams but even more amplified negative self-thoughts. But, Thursday, I was able to enjoy the day! Don't get me wrong, everything didn't go perfectly as planned, and I had some low moments, but I found myself intentionally counteracting those moments with positivity and reminders that the day was about giving thanks. So I started thinking, if I can make these intentions to be grateful just because of one day, what would happen if I make gratitude an intentional lifestyle? Bad things happen. But instead of having an attitude, I can focused on gratitude! See what I did there?

In life, things don't always go our way. Right now, this pandemic has challenged so many things that we've previously accepted as normal. We can be upset about it so much that we get on a bandwagon of complaining about every little thing that had to change, without realizing that we actually are doing pretty well. It's natural to join in with others and mumble and grumble, but why not be the one to turn the conversation around and deter meaningless negative talk. Remind yourself that you have things to be grateful for. 

In this season of being a stay-at-home-mom, I am finding a lot of challenges. Sometimes it makes me forget the blessing in being a mom. Sometimes I have to literally stop working and just hold my boys and spend time with them. I can easily get caught up in doing for them that I forget that they are not a chore, they are my children. Things need to get done, and it's rightfully overwhelming. I could complain constantly to others about all the work I have to do, all the things I don't get done, blah blah blah. They'd probably understand,  but what would it help staying in a pit of despair? Although there's a lot to complain about, I am grateful for this toddler who God blessed us with after years of trying, and this infant who God blessed us with after experiencing a miscarriage.

So one thing that I am specifically thankful for this year is FAMILY! Each year I get to see a variety of family members at some point during the weekend. There's always some combination between going to see my parents, or my dad's side, or my in-laws. Sometimes we've driven as far as Baltimore and on the way home, we've hit three or four places in the same day. This year, it was just my husband and I, and our two boys, at our home. I missed my family and friends this year, but I could look at the situation two ways;

I can be so stuck on the fact that I didn't see any of my extended family, that there were certain traditions that didn't take place, that there were certain foods and desserts that I didn't get to taste. 

OR 

I could be grateful that we didn't have to do a whole lot of driving. I could be happy that I wasn't tempted with all of that food and I could try to stay on point with my eating goals. I could be grateful that I could make new traditions with my household.

It's a real thing to be upset that this pandemic has prevented us from seeing loved ones for Thanksgiving. However, I won't allow myself to wallow in that. I choose to be grateful that we are alive and healthy, and that we can use many forms of technology to stay in touch (though of course it isn't the same as in person). The point is that thankfulness is all about perspective. 

I vow to complain less, write more in my thankfulness journal, and even pray for others and see how I can meet others' need. I am completely blessed and content. Therefore, I want to feel things in a healthy, honest way. If it's not affecting me that badly, I don't want to fake it just because others will sympathize with it. 

What I know is that life is full of events, both good and bad. But I can choose how I let it affect my overall being. Of course I am going to feel pain, loss, sadness, hurt, disappointment. And I'm not saying to fake it and just look happy all the time. But sometimes I know that I can get into an unnecessary funk about things, and it really could go another way. When I complain about things that aren't going my way, that doesn't help to change it. So why not focus my energy on being grateful for what I do have.