Church People are Tired
The other day I read an article "Dear Church, Here's Why People Are Really Leaving You". I love church but I didn't read it in order to attack the article line by line. I read it because I wanted to understand her and so many others' concerns.
She listed reasons including that the church has a problem with showing real love/building relationships; it has overrated, flashy Sunday productions that offer nothing to help when you're struggling mid-week; and the people's conversations are full of jargon that is unreal and judgmental.
After reading the author's very real reasons for leaving the church, I decided to write my opinion as well. Now, you may feel like you don't want to read anymore because I'm probably just going to try to persuade you to go to church, or tell you that the way you're feeling is wrong. ABSOLUTELY NOT. It would be biased of me to tell you all the great things about church since I am a church person and you may not be. Also, while I've seen many positive changes in churches, they would mean nothing to you if you haven't experienced it for yourself. So, I'm simply writing because as a "church person" I want to let you know that I'M TIRED!
For centuries, people have left churches for many reason so this is nothing new. But I had one main thought while reading the article...church is made of IMPERFECT PEOPLE. Everyday people, just like you, attend church services. Many "people" (because the church is not a building, it's people) try to cater to those they are trying to reach, they try to build real relationships that extend outside of a Sunday service, they try to speak in a normal everyday language that is not way over people's heads, most importantly, they try to spread the message of Jesus Christ. What that looks like is very different to various messengers and receivers. So when we mess up, we are all grouped together and ridiculed and we are not given a chance to redeem ourselves.
Now, I know, you're probably thinking that I'm just making excuses and I'm not validating the authors' feelings. I'm not excusing anything that anyone felt as they attended church. The thing is, Christ is the only perfect person without sin. The rest of us are just striving to do right but we make mistakes regularly. People do not want to accept that. They put "church" people on this impossible pedestal. Flawed people, having expectations of other flawed people and when they fall short, everybody gets to have an opinion about what's wrong with "the church" but we can't have any opinions about ANYTHING.
WE CAN'T disagree with anything without being called judgmental. IT'S TIRING! And when told what's wrong, how dare us explain our intent? It doesn't matter. How dare us try to reason with others, or give our opinion when everyone is able to voice theirs? IT'S TIRING that as long as we're humans, we'll make plenty of errors but as soon as we call ourselves Christians, our humanity must be thrown out, while kept...at the same time. HOW?
WE HAVE TO love like Jesus, but only his good love, only his forgiving and compassionate love, not his corrective love. WE HAVE TO stay true to his teachings, but ignore it when it offends. WE HAVE TO keep the parts that make us all comfortable. WE HAVE TO listen to everyone tell us we're wrong but never ever speak out that anything else is wrong, right, real. WE CAN'T LIVE! WE HAVE NO VOICE! And IT'S TIRING.
WE'RE TIRED of being judged and not given a chance to change for the better. No matter how loving, giving, forgiving, accepting, respectful, non-judgmental individuals are, the characteristics of "church" will always be trumped by the negative stuff that is inevitable because we're made up of flawed people. When we're just doing us, we're seen as too perfect and judgmental. When we do wrong, we're fake and hypocritical. When someone does something to hurt, heaven forbid they go to church because that means the whole church is hurtful and not loving. People will not remember that people hurt all around, whether they're in church or not. Everybody else can do it. Church people just can't do it. We are wrong as a whole, and we are expected to come together and fix it. People will continue to keep their views that they previously had from bad experiences, and won't ever see the efforts on "the church's" part to grow. You may be tired of what happened to you but we're tired of being grouped together and blamed endlessly, and spoken against generally.
People are so different but suddenly we're all the same and we're all wrong as a church. Although we're tired, we know what our job is, we know what our mission is, we try to live the best we can. Though others want us to stay in a box and not bother anyone, we knew it would be this way; it was this way since Jesus' day. Us vs. Them. That's what it is, but no one can clearly say who the "us" and "them" is. Help us, but don't help us. Well all we can do is do what we do, grow how we grow, learn how we learn and some will join and some just won't and some will leave and some will stay. But we're tired of being put down for our efforts. Organizations are flawed. Try Jesus. He leads people to the right place. When you're hurt, He helps the person who was hurt and the person/people who did the hurting.
You may have read this and thought, I completely missed the author's point. That's ok! This is my opinion. Here's my point: if you don't like one place, try something else that fits you. If not, then it is what it is. But I'm tired of having to read and hear what everyone else has to say about "the church" yet "the church" can't ever reply.
My goal was not to negate the fact that some churches may have a lot of growing to do and changes to make. I'm just saying that I'm tired of being called this and that and not given a chance to show people what they're looking for. And I'm tired of people outside of church forgetting that church is just full of imperfect, everyday people.
If you read this, I appreciate it. If you agreed or disagreed, then I don't mind discussing at all. Comments are welcomed...
She listed reasons including that the church has a problem with showing real love/building relationships; it has overrated, flashy Sunday productions that offer nothing to help when you're struggling mid-week; and the people's conversations are full of jargon that is unreal and judgmental.
After reading the author's very real reasons for leaving the church, I decided to write my opinion as well. Now, you may feel like you don't want to read anymore because I'm probably just going to try to persuade you to go to church, or tell you that the way you're feeling is wrong. ABSOLUTELY NOT. It would be biased of me to tell you all the great things about church since I am a church person and you may not be. Also, while I've seen many positive changes in churches, they would mean nothing to you if you haven't experienced it for yourself. So, I'm simply writing because as a "church person" I want to let you know that I'M TIRED!
For centuries, people have left churches for many reason so this is nothing new. But I had one main thought while reading the article...church is made of IMPERFECT PEOPLE. Everyday people, just like you, attend church services. Many "people" (because the church is not a building, it's people) try to cater to those they are trying to reach, they try to build real relationships that extend outside of a Sunday service, they try to speak in a normal everyday language that is not way over people's heads, most importantly, they try to spread the message of Jesus Christ. What that looks like is very different to various messengers and receivers. So when we mess up, we are all grouped together and ridiculed and we are not given a chance to redeem ourselves.
Now, I know, you're probably thinking that I'm just making excuses and I'm not validating the authors' feelings. I'm not excusing anything that anyone felt as they attended church. The thing is, Christ is the only perfect person without sin. The rest of us are just striving to do right but we make mistakes regularly. People do not want to accept that. They put "church" people on this impossible pedestal. Flawed people, having expectations of other flawed people and when they fall short, everybody gets to have an opinion about what's wrong with "the church" but we can't have any opinions about ANYTHING.
WE CAN'T disagree with anything without being called judgmental. IT'S TIRING! And when told what's wrong, how dare us explain our intent? It doesn't matter. How dare us try to reason with others, or give our opinion when everyone is able to voice theirs? IT'S TIRING that as long as we're humans, we'll make plenty of errors but as soon as we call ourselves Christians, our humanity must be thrown out, while kept...at the same time. HOW?
WE HAVE TO love like Jesus, but only his good love, only his forgiving and compassionate love, not his corrective love. WE HAVE TO stay true to his teachings, but ignore it when it offends. WE HAVE TO keep the parts that make us all comfortable. WE HAVE TO listen to everyone tell us we're wrong but never ever speak out that anything else is wrong, right, real. WE CAN'T LIVE! WE HAVE NO VOICE! And IT'S TIRING.
WE'RE TIRED of being judged and not given a chance to change for the better. No matter how loving, giving, forgiving, accepting, respectful, non-judgmental individuals are, the characteristics of "church" will always be trumped by the negative stuff that is inevitable because we're made up of flawed people. When we're just doing us, we're seen as too perfect and judgmental. When we do wrong, we're fake and hypocritical. When someone does something to hurt, heaven forbid they go to church because that means the whole church is hurtful and not loving. People will not remember that people hurt all around, whether they're in church or not. Everybody else can do it. Church people just can't do it. We are wrong as a whole, and we are expected to come together and fix it. People will continue to keep their views that they previously had from bad experiences, and won't ever see the efforts on "the church's" part to grow. You may be tired of what happened to you but we're tired of being grouped together and blamed endlessly, and spoken against generally.
People are so different but suddenly we're all the same and we're all wrong as a church. Although we're tired, we know what our job is, we know what our mission is, we try to live the best we can. Though others want us to stay in a box and not bother anyone, we knew it would be this way; it was this way since Jesus' day. Us vs. Them. That's what it is, but no one can clearly say who the "us" and "them" is. Help us, but don't help us. Well all we can do is do what we do, grow how we grow, learn how we learn and some will join and some just won't and some will leave and some will stay. But we're tired of being put down for our efforts. Organizations are flawed. Try Jesus. He leads people to the right place. When you're hurt, He helps the person who was hurt and the person/people who did the hurting.
You may have read this and thought, I completely missed the author's point. That's ok! This is my opinion. Here's my point: if you don't like one place, try something else that fits you. If not, then it is what it is. But I'm tired of having to read and hear what everyone else has to say about "the church" yet "the church" can't ever reply.
My goal was not to negate the fact that some churches may have a lot of growing to do and changes to make. I'm just saying that I'm tired of being called this and that and not given a chance to show people what they're looking for. And I'm tired of people outside of church forgetting that church is just full of imperfect, everyday people.
If you read this, I appreciate it. If you agreed or disagreed, then I don't mind discussing at all. Comments are welcomed...
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