honor
It started when I woke up in the nu year and i was like Lord I don't know how long I have on earth but I want to do your will and give you glory and be focused on why I'm here. then I kept thinking about spiritual warfare and I was like satan is real and when I step outside, there could be anything going on. Am I really prepared to fight? That's when I started reading Ephesians 6:10-18. I read it over and over again and I was like yes, I have to put on the armor, and the parts that I didn't understand, I kept praying and asking God what does this look like, how do I do this. And I kept reading and then yesterday, I read the whole chapter. So you know verse 2 talks about honoring your parents. I kept trying to go past that but I couldn't. I actually have been thinking about this verse a lot because anyone who knows me knows the trouble I have with my parents, in particular my mother. And no matter how much I tell God that I want to get along with her, at the end of the day I end up settling and saying it's just not going to work so forget it. But after reading verse 1and 2 this time, I was like "AHHHHHHHH for real? "
so um, i got a few things from this.
1) It's not about me: for the longest time, I've been able to do ministry outside of the house (like in church or at school) but relationships inside the house sucked and i was satisfied with that. I felt that it wouldn't get better because me and my mother are so different that we would never get along. I feel like she doesn't know me, and she does things to irk me all the time so my reaction to her is really rude. I try to justify it but I know that I hurt her. I don't want to hurt her but i feel like it's unfair and the only way we will ever get along is if I humble myself and respect her. Yeah, this is so not hard to do. How do I honor someone that I'm not sure I respect? How do I honor someone that I feel doesn't understand me? How do I honor someone that doesn't think like I do and does things to get on my nerves? Wake up Crystal. It's not about you. Ugh, there's a scripture that talks about using all endeavors to keep the peace. It didn't say honor your parents if they deserve it. It just says honor them. I know I can't do it on my own cuz I will keep it the way things are now. So I need God. So I'm taking it to him
2) I was thinking how sometimes you may have spiritual warfare inside your own house. Sometimes it's easy to pray and fight and slay demons or whatever outside in the world or in a church service but in your house you may not think about it. but I think it's necessary. I was wondering why after reading vs 10-18 all that time, all of a sudden God would have me to go back and read the whole chapter. I can't keep living this Christian life and ignoring the fact that something has to be done about me and my mom and it has to begin with me. I can't tell others about love when I know how much I feel like I can't stand her. So I'm gonna deal with this. I couldn't get to verse 18 " And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" without acknowledging this problem with me and my family so I pause. And I wrote this to encourage others. You may have something that pushes your buttons and you are comfortable with it being in your life. I encourage you to take it to God and don't just accept it. God can change any situation. So I'm on this journey to find peace in my home. Even if me and my mother don't become the best of friends lol, I at least want to genuinely respect and honor her.
so um, i got a few things from this.
1) It's not about me: for the longest time, I've been able to do ministry outside of the house (like in church or at school) but relationships inside the house sucked and i was satisfied with that. I felt that it wouldn't get better because me and my mother are so different that we would never get along. I feel like she doesn't know me, and she does things to irk me all the time so my reaction to her is really rude. I try to justify it but I know that I hurt her. I don't want to hurt her but i feel like it's unfair and the only way we will ever get along is if I humble myself and respect her. Yeah, this is so not hard to do. How do I honor someone that I'm not sure I respect? How do I honor someone that I feel doesn't understand me? How do I honor someone that doesn't think like I do and does things to get on my nerves? Wake up Crystal. It's not about you. Ugh, there's a scripture that talks about using all endeavors to keep the peace. It didn't say honor your parents if they deserve it. It just says honor them. I know I can't do it on my own cuz I will keep it the way things are now. So I need God. So I'm taking it to him
2) I was thinking how sometimes you may have spiritual warfare inside your own house. Sometimes it's easy to pray and fight and slay demons or whatever outside in the world or in a church service but in your house you may not think about it. but I think it's necessary. I was wondering why after reading vs 10-18 all that time, all of a sudden God would have me to go back and read the whole chapter. I can't keep living this Christian life and ignoring the fact that something has to be done about me and my mom and it has to begin with me. I can't tell others about love when I know how much I feel like I can't stand her. So I'm gonna deal with this. I couldn't get to verse 18 " And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people" without acknowledging this problem with me and my family so I pause. And I wrote this to encourage others. You may have something that pushes your buttons and you are comfortable with it being in your life. I encourage you to take it to God and don't just accept it. God can change any situation. So I'm on this journey to find peace in my home. Even if me and my mother don't become the best of friends lol, I at least want to genuinely respect and honor her.
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