That's So Handy

Have you ever felt defeated like nobody wants you to be great? Are people forever overlooking your value? Are your gifts and talent going unrecognized and unused?  You've probably tried to vent to others about these feelings only to receive answers about self evaluation, and keep honing your craft because your time will come...stay faithful...blah blah blah Well...have you ever actually listened to this advice, accepting that you're going around in circles and nothing has changed? Maybe you haven't, but I'm starting to, and it's eye-opening. I know, I know, you just want someone to validate your feelings and encourage you that your haters can't hold you back. You're the best. But maybe you need someone to tell you that no one sees you because you're complacent and too lazy to kick your gift up to the next level.  It could just be that the right thing hasn't come along so that you will hear and not be offended. Maybe the next time it...

Sadly, I think racism is one of those things that will never end. You can't tell someone how to think or how to treat someone, and sensitivity and true consideration for someone else is a skill that is disappearing slowly and slowly. I choose to believe that the only hope is Jesus Christ. Now, does that mean that I don't do anything  about the horrible things that happen on a daily basis? Does that mean that I have no feelings when I hear of another case of inhuman race? Well, it shouldn't! But let's be honest. How many preachers spoke about white supremacy just a week ago? How many statues were dedicated to injustice just a week ago? How many protests occurred to demand equality for Blacks just a week ago? I dare say that these things grow exponential after a terrible event... Is it wrong? Absolutely not! Should it stop? No, that's not what I'm saying. My point is, we are going around in circles and that is exhausting. I feel pain every time...

Jax is my puppy (Japanese Chin and Shih-tzu mix) who we've had for about 2 months now. In this short amount of time, he understands that my husband and I love him and will do our best to take care of him. I love watching this little guy grow, and seeing how much he tries to communicate with us. But even when he is trying to tell us something that he wants, it's up to us to say yes or no. It's up to us to teach and train him to do what we want him to do.  It's amazing what he tries to get away with, and sometimes he'll look back sneakily to see if anyone is watching. It's also mind-blowing that when he does something wrong and gets a beating or gets yelled at, just seconds later he still wants to be near us, wants us to play with him, wants to receive our attention and love. No matter how hurt he was or how angry he was just a while ago, it seems like he strangely understands that we are his owners and that even if we have to correct him...

I was warming up my lunch and the top of my Tupperware popped off while in the microwave. It reminded me of the other day when I was making cookies with my students - someone put the butter in the microwave and the same thing happened; the top popped off. Many of the other students said "just take the top off" so naturally that I thought about how normal it is to microwave food with no covering. Everybody does it. Well, except for my mom. She always used to tell me and my brother to put a paper towel over our plates when we microwaved food. The radiation isn't good for you. I believed it was true and I knew it probably was dangerous, but it didn't seem  or look  dangerous at the time. And after many times of doing it, there were no immediate negative affects that I knew of. I didn't see any consequences where I could say " oh yeah! this happened because of that time I didn't cover the plate in the microwave ". So I'm safe! Right? How many tim...

So let me just be real, I've gotten sad more times than I should've, worrying about other people's thoughts of me.  Am I doing enough for people? Am I showing up enough for them? Do I do enough for others to see me as successful? Do I give enough? Am I there enough? I'm getting older so why aren't my goals being fulfilled as fast as I thought. Am I meeting other people's expectations of me? How come I'm not doing as much as the next person? How come they got theirs quicker than me?  Can other's speak well of me or say clearly that I'm moving in my purpose? How come people are able to do so much and get these things, and I'm working hard and ain't gettin  Years of thoughts of failure; for letting people down, for not coming through like I think people expect me to, for not keeping up with what someone else already sees in me- it all stopped not too long ago. I realized there's nothing wrong with me...

Hi! My name is Crystal and some may label me "socially awkward": -I get anxiety when I have to talk to someone, like if i am supposed to make a phone call, it takes so much energy to work up the nerve to dial the number. -I don't talk much but I can write the heck out of a text/email.  -I don't say much but I'm one heck of a listener!👂👂👂 -I talk to myself when no one's around -I am passionate about people speaking logically. -I hate being told what to do, especially if you haven't given me a chance to show you that I already know how to do it. Please excuse my attitude and eye-rolling, I just like autonomy -I love being around people  but I hate it at the same time -I have more patience with kids than with adults.  -If you're my friend, i hate when other people are around you when i'm around you. I be like Yo, that's MY friend. MINE! who are you? 👀 -I converse more naturally with males -I used to have a lot of people th...

I was listening to someone famous, who I really enjoy listening to. It's cool how much they talk about God. It's all the time, like All Thee Time...but they curse a whole lot and other stuff too. At first I was like, that's conflicting, but someone else replied and said something like, "but everyone's process isn't always fast, like they might just be beginning, and they know they believe, but everything didn't change all at once". And I was like, True! That was a really good point, and it helped me once again on my everlasting journey to loving solely like Jesus and being less prejudice against people who aren't "churched" like me. But this post isn't really about that. It's more about the fact that even if, by chance, this famous person was being "conflicting", was it really wrong  for him to talk about God? I mean, isn't that what we want; for people all over the world, all kinds of lifestyles to hear about who ...

By Crystal Handy Have you ever felt like you didn't belong? No matter the credentials you've obtained, nothing prepared you for the social skills you would need to feel like your functioning well in this fast-paced world. Does it seem like everyone around you has figured it out and they're moving full-force in their purpose, but you're stuck still trying to figure it out? Well, here's something that I've come up with to help myself. Maybe it will be a start to helping you as well.  1. Don't Compare Yourself to Anyone:  Not even to yourself - Your old self is not you NOW. What you used to do may not be what you can do now. It's okay. Focus on who you are presently . You don't need that extra stress of figuring out if you're as good as your younger self, or as good as anyone else. Listen, other people have what they have; they are who they are; their background is their background. But what you have to offer is needed  and nobody els...

I was watching some movie on Netflix one day and I heard a quote that hit me enough that I had to pause the movie and write this blog entry. Let me set the scene up for you:  So this guy is going through some things with his marriage, his job, just life in general. Everything he's doing to try to cope isn't working, in fact it seems to keep getting worse and he doesn't want to bear it any longer. Next he's drunk and walking to a bridge with the expectation to jump. Then a car stops and an older man tells him about how he was in the exact same spot 1 year ago. spoke these words to a man after talking him out of jumping off a bridge in the same spot that the elder man stood in 1 year ago with the same intentions. He told his story and then stated...  "The energy you put into dying, you put that into living." WOW! I thought about what this meant. It really does take energy to take your life; to decide how it's going to happen, to move past the fear,...

3,216-   I see their pictures. I know what they’re eating, how they're feeling, what they're thinking, who/what they like and don't like, if they have kids; a family; are they in a relationship. I can see it all – I know them! Or do I really? 3216...this is the number of Facebook friends I have. I know so much about all different kinds of people, but I look sometimes and think " I don't know you!" When I compare the  number of friends and followers I have on social media with the people I have deep relationships with, the gap is pretty significant. Don’t get me wrong.   Social networks are awesome because you get to keep up with all different kinds of people’s lives. But do you ever feel like, even with all the people that follow you on social media, you can still count the number of true friends you have on one hand? You name it...I used it back in the day! I loved connecting and feeling close to all kinds of people. Now, I realize how overwhe...

It's the 31 st day of the year and also the 123 rd day that I have been 31 years. I often find myself thinking about how I will be 40 soon and I do NOT want to look back and see that I haven’t made any growth. I’m sure you feel the same way; that you want to take advantage of opportunities to improve your quality of life and you want to make sure you are enjoying a purposeful life and not just making it through. So I'm sure you’ve taken the first step; you’ve written your goals/resolutions. BOOM ! Then you realize that change doesn’t happen overnight…you actually have to do some work to prepare for the change. It would be awesome if you could just wish change and it happens without having to make adjustments to your habits. Sometimes complacency comes knocking on your door saying You don’t have to do anything right now. It’ll happen! Then years have gone past before you realize NOTHING CHANGED... That’s how I feel when I think about my goals sometimes, and I p...

Hey Blackie! Here's your victory Does desegregation make you happy? Finally a change has come. But it's gonna come with a price. We gon make sure you Blackies think twice. Imagine... You can come here Well, because we have to let you. But Our teachers don't have to teach You The buses don't have to bus You, You can pay for a taxi or You can walk your Black legs. And your nappy Black-hair covered nappy Black head Will see just how good my aim is with these apples so red Blood shed  We'll be waiting for you Every single day To antagonize you, taunt you,  Tease, laugh, and haunt you. You'll get hit on, you'll get spit on Listen, We don't want you here But they said we had to let you in. I see you with your strong arms carrying those torn books I see your straight face as if you are ignoring our ignorance I see your perseverance to get your education. I see your resili...