What About Yo Friieeeeeeeeeennnndddss!!

3,216- I see their pictures. I know what they’re eating, how they're feeling, what they're thinking, who/what they like and don't like, if they have kids; a family; are they in a relationship. I can see it all – I know them! Or do I really?

3216...this is the number of Facebook friends I have. I know so much about all different kinds of people, but I look sometimes and think "I don't know you!" When I compare the number of friends and followers I have on social media with the people I have deep relationships with, the gap is pretty significant. Don’t get me wrong.  Social networks are awesome because you get to keep up with all different kinds of people’s lives. But do you ever feel like, even with all the people that follow you on social media, you can still count the number of true friends you have on one hand?

You name it...I used it back in the day! I loved connecting and feeling close to all kinds of people. Now, I realize how overwhelming it can be for my feelings. I moved away from home a few years ago and I often think about how I miss my close friends. Luckily, I have a few new friends now that I love like blood. Outside of that, friends just seam to be situational! – “I work with you so we’re cool”, or “I live near you so we hang out”. When you no longer work there, when you no longer live here, when I no longer need you to do something, or vice versa, when you’re in a trio and the trio suddenly become a duo (not including you), it’s easy to feel some kind of way…and you find yourself wasting all this energy internalizing every time you see them talking or going out and you weren’t invited. When you start feeling like you can’t depend on people to do things or show up for you, it makes you wonder who's really your friend. 

BUT CHILL

Friendship is such a broad term. As you grow into adulthood, it becomes increasingly clear how busy life can be. I keep reminding myself that how much I am loved is not measured by the number of phone calls I receive, or how many people liked my post. How many people actually come to see me and hang out with me is not the sole way of figuring out who truly cares.

Shoot, we grown out here. Everybody’s busy. I can’t worry about who didn’t like my status, who didn’t text me back, who didn’t call, who didn’t ask about this and check up on that, who didn’t answer their phone, who didn’t come to this. IT'S TOO MUCH! There is real life happening outside of these apps at my fingertip.

2 things in order to be socially healthy:  First, you can't have the same expectations across the board for everyone. Secondly, your social life does not depend solely on social media!