Posts

Losing Luggage during the Holidays

The long awaited break was finally here. I made it to the most wonderful time of the year where the only thing on my lesson plan is guilt-free breathing, fun, relaxation and spending time with my family. This Christmas also came with a surprise. One of my presents came as soon as the break started. Friday, December 20, the last day of school for the year, I got some new luggage to carry - Perfect timing for traveling through the holiday season. I began enthusiastically making plans and envisioning the future and I couldn’t wait to share news of the luggage I was carrying with my husband. The next day, one of my line sisters noticed my new luggage and I giggled with joy. I still only shared it with two other people who are also carrying new luggage. Then boom, throughout my holiday travels, I lost my luggage. I had not planned on losing my luggage just a week after finding out about it to begin with. I planned to go back to work next Monday and everyone would eventually know why Mrs. Ha...

40 By 40

Image
 Okay so if you're reading this it's probably because you subscribed to my blog because I'm on a social media break so for that I say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! It's summertime baby! Summer is my time to rest and rejuvenate, and to take care of all the things that I couldn't get to during the school year. This is my first summer not working in a few years. I was actually scheduled to teach for a summer program, but I had to pivot last-minute, and I promise, it was so worth it. This was the break that I've been so desperately longing for. This is my time to get my life together; mentally and physically. So let me share one of my biggest goals with you. My 39th birthday will be here in just a couple of months. I've decided to get my health under control. I am currently at my heaviest weight of 228 pounds. Nearing the end of this past school year was draining. I can't count how many people have asked me if I was pregnant. (I actually was pregnant in Jun...

Baby "Quad" Handy

Image
This is the story of Baby "Quad", the latest member of our chocolate baby squad!  Someone once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates..." I'm starting to wonder if I even like chocolate anymore. Okay I do, but this...this must be the one with the cherry flavor inside. I absolutely hate those kinds. This is like receiving an unexpected box of candy, face lighting up with so much joy, only to bite down and taste nothing but bitterness, confusion, disappointment and misery.  "...You never know what you're gonna get". My trauma response was to approach each pregnancy with caution: If I can just make it to that first appointment, If I can just see the first sonogram, keep you alive long enough to hear the first heartbeat, I'll be safe, I'll know that you have a chance ...and this cycle continues through every single appointment until hopefully I get close enough to the end to feel confident that you'll be carried to full term.  No part of o...

Wondering About "The Wonder Years"?

Image
Today I watched the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years". Growing up, my family and I watched the original show which aired in the late 80s to early 90s, and I even watched reruns later in life so I was interested in seeing how it would be. While watching, my mind started twitching, reminiscing about the details that made the original a good show. It was about current events, family, friends, school, a boy in love with a girl, sibling rivalry, so many other situations that you typically see in any American household. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't help but wonder if remaking the show from the vantage point of a Black character would suddenly change the essence of the show from a situational comedy to just a "Black" situational comedy. When a White family was the cast, all of us could enjoy it. So I wonder, do certain events of the time that the show was set suddenly become unrelatable if they are told from a Black cast's perspective? Do some experiences aff...

Dear Fat Girl

Image
I looked in the mirror one day and I thought, "Ugh, I've become a Fat Girl". I looked in the mirror the next day, and the next, until about a month later, I realized that when I look in the mirror, I think to myself, "I'm a fat girl".  I don't know why, but sometimes I imagine people leaving my presence to go home conversing with their spouses about how much weight Crystal gained. I imagine people who haven't seen me in years looking at me in shame because I still have "baby weight" or I'm not fit like I used to be. What I think  other people are thinking is mere flattery compared to how I started to view myself. Eating made me feel sad. Trying to eat the right things made me feel disappointed and then I would eat what I wanted. This was always followed by more negative self-talk. See, you can't do it. You might as well give up. Even when you start, you can't stick with it. You're a failure. You would think I had enough head...

Church People Are Tired: Part 3

Image
So it seems that the consensus is that "the church" will never be right. No matter what. Nothing any Christian does will ever be enough. Christians have to be perfect...no Christians have to be real... no Christians have to be left... no Christians have to be right. Christians this and Christians that. Yes, I'm a Christian. But it's not me, it's those Christians over there. Everything is their fault.  You don't get brownie points for being a woke Christian and declaring your solidarity with a certain side on controversial topics. What happens after blame is placed? Christians bashing Christians. It's so tiring. No matter how much we evolve (not in our message, but our methods). As long as there's any inkling of something unacceptable, throw the whole religion away. People will continue to make blanket statements about the church and try to say that no one is attracted to it anymore, it's irrelevant, it's wrong. Don't let this make you turn ...

A Failing System. Who's to blame?

Image
Because another happening with a young Black man and a Black mother... I just watched the video of the student who has passed just three classes in four years of high school. Although each year he was promoted to the next grade, his credits place him as a ninth grader, thus he was expected to start over as such. You probably have questions and comments, but here's my take. What I know as a human is that I can never fully understand anyone else's situation period. I can watch a news story, and form opinions, and it will all still be biased based on what I have and haven't experienced. Each occurrence is unique to the involved individuals ALWAYS!  I know it's easy to shake our head and give all this insight on who we think is to blame. What's the point? This kid is clearly facing some hardships and is in danger of a downward spiral in life. How can things get better? One immediate action that can be taken is to pray that God will intervene and that this family would b...