That's So Handy

This month, people all across the world engaged in a 21-day fast; giving up something to devote more of our day to connecting with God. I don't know if you participated; and if you did, I don't know how successful you were. I had a few challenges sticking to my original plan, which is fine. The problem came when I realized that although I gave something up, I didn't really give up all that I should have in order to truly focus on seeking God and making myself available to Him. It wasn't until the very last week of the 21 days that I decided it wasn't too late to go harder. My husband hadn't really been watching much television. So I was shocked one afternoon when the tv was on and a movie was set to play. It was The Passion of the Christ . Now, this was a movie that I'd seen twice in the theater when it came out. This is also a movie that I thought sure I would never intentionally watch ever again. I saw it, I felt it. I was changed, I didn't need to wat...

Enough was enough. I had some strong emotions after leaving a store and to top it off, this sign was still up on my way home so I needed to write about it. It's  Story Time ... So today I went to the grocery store and I watched this woman walk straight in with no mask. There was no fidgeting through a purse, no pivot back to the car, no sign at all that she was doing something wrong. She just went in. Can you imagine the confused look I had on my face? I know, I know, perhaps it truly did slip her mind. I mean, I was just thinking the other day how often I've unintentionally left the car with no mask but at some point before entering a building, I remember, and I go back and retrieve it. ALWAYS. It feels completely weird now to almost walk in a building with no mask on. I always get that signal to my brain saying, "Hey wait a minute. You forgot something". But okay, maybe she truly didn't have that moment; I could be tripping. But there was something about her smi...

Welcome to the last month of the year. I don't know if you ran, walked, or crawled to make it to the finish line, but you made it to December 2020! This year came with A LOT , so much so, that there were many mentions of canceling the year. I don't necessarily agree with canceling a year - as if the second it becomes January 1, everything will start over with complete bliss; as if every year doesn't come with it's own set of challenges - but I feel like there's just been a consensus of tiredness because most of the events this year were beyond us individually; it was worldwide! Yet on top of what happened collectively, some people still had to deal with their own individual losses. To say the least, 2020 was a year! This week, I watched the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy. No spoilers, but kudos to the show for bringing to light many of the issues that have been magnified during this pandemic. I felt so seen and validated. Who truly knows how much this virus af...

I hate talking.  I know that might sound weird from someone who was a school teacher, but I absolutely hate the energy that it takes sometimes. Small talk, needing to make a phone call, answering questions, all things that give me anxiety. It's out of fear; fear of not being heard (like actually not talking loud enough to be heard), being misunderstood (misinterpreted), being ignored, and one of the biggest fears is not being validated ! Why bother sharing if my thoughts are overlooked?  I'm not thinking in a "know-it-all" kind of way, but in a "this always happens to me, Charlie Brownish" kind of way. Here's how it goes in my head:  I understand the matter, I've had ample time to think about it and come up with my viable thoughts on the matter, and you mean to tell me that after mustering up enough energy to actually say what's on my mind out loud, you're not even going to accept what I said? Yeah, I'ma just head out for the rest of the ...

Gobble Gobble! This past week we celebrated a holiday which, like many others, is known for getting together with family and friends to eat, watch sports, eat, play games, and eat some more. Thanksgiving looked a little different this year for many of us. Some had to face the day knowing that their loved ones are no longer with them. Some were working and couldn't really see family and friends. Some are still missing their kidnapped family members. Others couldn't see family and friends because they wanted to take precautions due to Covid. There is so much happening and so I think we all can agree that there were many reasons to NOT   be grateful this Thanksgiving. This season is a time to think about your blessings, yet of course, sometimes in life there are situations that tend to overshadow the holidays.  So here I am, with an amazing life, but it can feel pretty unamazing sometimes, with the busyness of raising a toddler and infant, sadness from missing my friends and...

Another week has passed and to sum it up, it was hectic to say the least (emotionally mostly). Along with all the regular tasks that to be seem never-ending, I also had the mental battle of feeling like a failure because I can't keep up with everything that I had planned. Lately I've been feeding off of the thought that if it doesn't all  work, then I can't accept just some  of it working. It just seems like if I can find time to do some , I should be able to find time to do all . A few of my goals are to read the Bible and pray daily, workout 5 days a week, keep up with my weekly cleaning schedule, write daily, and do daily activities with my toddler. There is so much more on the list but consistency with just these items alone have seemed impossible. I've been a stay-at-home mom since December 2019 and you would think that this list was just the bare minimum of what I should naturally be doing. But the truth is that things have been challenging and instead of reas...

I was singing this song earlier this week and I recorded myself playing the guitar and singing it. That's it! That's all. I didn't post it on social media. I just recorded it and let it sit on my phone. Oh wait, later I deleted it.  Friday I decided to record myself again. And I hated it; absolutely hated how I sounded. I imagined it so differently in my head, wanted it to sound stronger, possess more color, yet it didn't manifest that way. Later that same day, I thought about two specific singers whom I like listening to - Jonathan McReynolds and Chandler Moore. They have two completely different sounds in their voices, but I like both of them. The differences don't make either one of them inadequate singers. The differences aren't flaws, neither are they facts that cause one to be better than the other. As a matter of fact, the distinctions only matter when comparing each to one another.  For myself, I have things that I don't like about my voice. I've...