Baby Handy 2
July 17.
I decided to take a pregnancy test. Lo and behold, it was positive. Every time I'm ready to jumpstart my healthy eating journey, I get pregnant (lol). Shelton was at work so I marco polo'd him crying and excited. Of course when we got home, just like last time, I took another test to make sure. We were officially going to become a family of 4.
We couldn't believed it happened so soon, but it happened. Avery wouldn't even be 2 yet and we'd have another baby. Wow!
I was scared but way more excited than anything else. I couldn't wait to tell everyone, literally the whole world! We didn't wait, we told our parents and we were going to wait until around October to announce our little pumpkin to social media.
August 9.
Finally our first sonogram, which ended up changing our due date from March 6 to March 31. The baby was measuring around 6 weeks, which means when we found out, Baby Handy 2 was only about 2-3 weeks. I couldn't believe we found out so soon.
August 20.
I put Avery down for his nap and I laid down on the couch. I felt a little pain but I figured it was just pregnancy pain. I go to the bathroom. Looks like a little bit of pink/red. Okay, no problem. I texted Shelton at work and I call the doctor. Not alarmed, just want to make sure everything's okay. I made an appointment for about an hour from then. I specifically listened to Jesus and Jollof podcast so I could laugh on the way. Luckily Shelton met me at the doctor's. I would have lost my mind if he wasn't there.
There we are in the room. They already took a urine sample and said there was no blood. Good, good. That's a good sign. The doctor uses the probe and we check out the sonogram. We see the baby, so everything is fine. There's the baby right there...
She starts talking about colors of blood flow. "We should see it in the baby. Unfortunately, I'm not seeing it. There's no heartbeat. This pregnancy is terminated".
Um, so okay, take the probe away and put it back and try again. Get something and poke around. Try again. Is that it?
That was it. Just like that. It was all over. It happened so fast. I mean, she just talked real calm and mellow and quick, I didn't understand how she could be so sure. She kept talking about the next steps. I couldn't hear anything she was saying. Our baby was gone. Lady, don't you see me crying. I can't hear you, just stop talking and let me get out of here.
We finally got to leave and were told to call with our decision.
Well, by the next evening, my body didn't even wait for us to make a decision. The baby tissue was coming out. It was the worst night of my life. So much pain, physically and emotionally (we know now that natural birth is out of the question for any future babies). I thought I was dying. Huge blood clots, constant vomiting, cramping that felt like labor.
It was labeled a missed miscarriage. Something I never thought I would have to experience.
Something I pray I never have to experience ever again.
So why am I sharing our loss with the world? I mean, y'all are our friends right? Keep us in prayer. Through it all, I've cried a lot, but my husband has also helped me to LAUGH a whole lot. God has taught me that no matter what, He's still faithful and He's still good. The Holy Ghost isn't just about tongues, He truly is a comforter. Life is full of good times, and bad times, but we make it through and sometimes we see that we're stronger than we knew. I can honestly say that I'm sad, but I still have joy.
I decided to take a pregnancy test. Lo and behold, it was positive. Every time I'm ready to jumpstart my healthy eating journey, I get pregnant (lol). Shelton was at work so I marco polo'd him crying and excited. Of course when we got home, just like last time, I took another test to make sure. We were officially going to become a family of 4.
We couldn't believed it happened so soon, but it happened. Avery wouldn't even be 2 yet and we'd have another baby. Wow!
I was scared but way more excited than anything else. I couldn't wait to tell everyone, literally the whole world! We didn't wait, we told our parents and we were going to wait until around October to announce our little pumpkin to social media.
August 9.
Finally our first sonogram, which ended up changing our due date from March 6 to March 31. The baby was measuring around 6 weeks, which means when we found out, Baby Handy 2 was only about 2-3 weeks. I couldn't believe we found out so soon.
August 20.
I put Avery down for his nap and I laid down on the couch. I felt a little pain but I figured it was just pregnancy pain. I go to the bathroom. Looks like a little bit of pink/red. Okay, no problem. I texted Shelton at work and I call the doctor. Not alarmed, just want to make sure everything's okay. I made an appointment for about an hour from then. I specifically listened to Jesus and Jollof podcast so I could laugh on the way. Luckily Shelton met me at the doctor's. I would have lost my mind if he wasn't there.
There we are in the room. They already took a urine sample and said there was no blood. Good, good. That's a good sign. The doctor uses the probe and we check out the sonogram. We see the baby, so everything is fine. There's the baby right there...
She starts talking about colors of blood flow. "We should see it in the baby. Unfortunately, I'm not seeing it. There's no heartbeat. This pregnancy is terminated".
Um, so okay, take the probe away and put it back and try again. Get something and poke around. Try again. Is that it?
That was it. Just like that. It was all over. It happened so fast. I mean, she just talked real calm and mellow and quick, I didn't understand how she could be so sure. She kept talking about the next steps. I couldn't hear anything she was saying. Our baby was gone. Lady, don't you see me crying. I can't hear you, just stop talking and let me get out of here.
We finally got to leave and were told to call with our decision.
Well, by the next evening, my body didn't even wait for us to make a decision. The baby tissue was coming out. It was the worst night of my life. So much pain, physically and emotionally (we know now that natural birth is out of the question for any future babies). I thought I was dying. Huge blood clots, constant vomiting, cramping that felt like labor.
It was labeled a missed miscarriage. Something I never thought I would have to experience.
Something I pray I never have to experience ever again.
So why am I sharing our loss with the world? I mean, y'all are our friends right? Keep us in prayer. Through it all, I've cried a lot, but my husband has also helped me to LAUGH a whole lot. God has taught me that no matter what, He's still faithful and He's still good. The Holy Ghost isn't just about tongues, He truly is a comforter. Life is full of good times, and bad times, but we make it through and sometimes we see that we're stronger than we knew. I can honestly say that I'm sad, but I still have joy.
We rarely understand the reasons that God allows the happenings in our lives. However we've found Him to be trustworthy. I pray that His strength will carry you forward and cause you to triumph!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I don't understand at all, but I know God's got us
DeleteThank you so much cousin!! I feel so weird right now but I know it's going to be okay
ReplyDeleteI’m so sorry mon ami. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you and your husband. I pray that God blesses you with peace and comfort and the reassurance that He is there by your side through it all. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much mon ami. We appreciate it. It's hard and I'm sad, but I'm grateful for peace
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