Smile, You're a Mommy! (or cry)

Avery turned 6 weeks old yesterday and let me tell you; I thought "teacher tired" was something...but no indeed. Mommy tired? Yeah that is no joke; I keep wondering what in the world "teacher-mommy tired" will be like in the fall when school starts back up. How in the world am I going to teach with a newborn? What am I going to do if I'm up the whole night and then have to go to work TO TEACH! Can I handle this?

I recently told my husband how it's really all about Avery right now; making sure he has what he needs when he needs it (even if that's at 1:00 a.m. and every hour to follow). He runs this. Nonetheless, this journey has been pretty amazing - like an amazing roller coaster. There are many ups and downs, twists and turns, fast-paced times and slow-paced times. But all in all, I'm enjoying the ride.

Believe me, it's taken a long time to get to place where I can honestly say I'm enjoying motherhood. There's been numerous moments of anxiety and sadness. Parenthood is a great deal of work, especially the first time. I admit, through the tough times, I've reacted by doing a loooooooooooottttttttt of complaining! But my husband told me one day to pray because God may be trying to teach me some things through this. So I took a step back, I told God my feelings and asked him to help me. This was a huge step. Why? Well, because I clearly knew there were some things in me that could improve, but I didn't want God to change it because I felt like these characteristics weren't my flaws, they just pointed out other people's flaws. But I knew if I wanted peace, I would have to let go of some of my ways.

I'm learning daily that being a parent takes sacrifice. Many of my woes come from the discomfort of giving something up. I give up my introverted comforts when we have visitors. I give up my ego when people offer their advice. I give up sleep, sleep, and more sleep when Avery wakes up to be changed, to eat, or just to be comforted. It's different; every time I get sad, it's because something happened out of my control. So I'm learning to give up control. God is in control of giving me strength in those times where I feel helpless. And I'm constantly reminding myself that Avery isn't out to get me, and people offering all this advice are just trying to help. I can't imagine how single parents do it. I'm 32 and I don't know how teenagers or people younger than me handle it. Shoot, it's hard for any age.

So I salute all parents today! We're all just trying our best to figure out how to manage. I am so grateful that I have my husband and God and a host of others on my side through this journey.