Affirmation

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..."Then here comes your word; healing, affirming word. Write it on my heart, write it on my mind so I'll never forget it." 

These lyrics from a song recorded by gospel artist Casey J. ring in my mind as I think about where I am at this very moment compared to where I've been for the past few years. When you've developed a routine that works and you feel settled with life, any disruption or change to that can mess with your identity. You sometimes second-guess your worth and wonder who you really are if your not "that" anymore. 

 Here's my story and how I deal...


Image result for school bus
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For many, the month of August means one thing:
BACK-TO-SCHOOL
Well here I sit, August 2016. and for the first time in 4 years, I will NOT be setting up a classroom. Some of you may not know but the truth is, I left my job way back in February and officially resigned in April. Yup, my life as a 6th grade math teacher was put to a halt/pause. 

 The story of how this Baltimore City raised girl ended up way down in Eastern Shore is quite interesting but I'll tell you about all of that in my upcoming book. Oh, if you're looking for the scoop about why I left, yeah that may or may not be explained to some extent in the book also. 

 But this short blog is to talk to you about trusting God no matter what season you're in.

 I followed my journey and it brought me away from home to help shape young minds as a teacher. I did it at church, I got a degree in it, I got a career in it. I was doing it, and doing it pretty well, and I thoroughly enjoyed receiving the many perks that come with it. The chance to develop relationships with so many children and coworkers with your same agenda, the respect, the disrespect (lol), the free stuff, the recognition for a job well done from friends, family, and the community. Teaching is a very fulfilling job.

 Suddenly things changed drastically and I decided it was best for me to leave. What I did was for me, but in the aftermath, I often think about all the perks that I left behind:

  • no more welcoming all these brilliant new minds on the first day
  • no more relief that only an educator can feel on the last day
  • no getting to see my babies graduate or have them come back to my room to speak and hug me
  • no more shopping for items to decorate my classroom
  • no more Michael's discounts and free Chipotle and other appreciation during Teacher Appreciation Week 
  • no more gifts from students
  • no more tags in funny memes and videos because my friends know i'm a math teacher
  • etc. etc. etc. because there's so many more meaningful things that I won't have anymore (for now)
This time of year brings a sense of nostalgia. The bitter/sweet memories make me somewhat sad. Wondering what people will think when they find out I am no longer who I have been for so long, I'm no longer doing what I settled in my mind to do to help the community in the same way. So I think about what my purpose is for this new season. I wonder about so many things but all in all, while waiting for the answers, all I can do is trust God during this journey and know that my purpose and identity is in him and NOT in the "things" that I do. I hope I never forget it...

 If you've read this, trust me, I know that leaving an old place, removing familiar things, losing something or someone SUCKS in so many ways, but remember to trust God to take you to where you need to be. When satan makes you question who you are, and tell you you're not good enough anymore- you have nothing, don't lose yourself. Let God's word affirm you!

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