That's So Handy

This is the story of Baby "Quad", the latest member of our chocolate baby squad!  Someone once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates..." I'm starting to wonder if I even like chocolate anymore. Okay I do, but this...this must be the one with the cherry flavor inside. I absolutely hate those kinds. This is like receiving an unexpected box of candy, face lighting up with so much joy, only to bite down and taste nothing but bitterness, confusion, disappointment and misery.  "...You never know what you're gonna get". My trauma response was to approach each pregnancy with caution: If I can just make it to that first appointment, If I can just see the first sonogram, keep you alive long enough to hear the first heartbeat, I'll be safe, I'll know that you have a chance ...and this cycle continues through every single appointment until hopefully I get close enough to the end to feel confident that you'll be carried to full term.  No part of o...

Today I watched the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years". Growing up, my family and I watched the original show which aired in the late 80s to early 90s, and I even watched reruns later in life so I was interested in seeing how it would be. While watching, my mind started twitching, reminiscing about the details that made the original a good show. It was about current events, family, friends, school, a boy in love with a girl, sibling rivalry, so many other situations that you typically see in any American household. Yet, for some reason, I couldn't help but wonder if remaking the show from the vantage point of a Black character would suddenly change the essence of the show from a situational comedy to just a "Black" situational comedy. When a White family was the cast, all of us could enjoy it. So I wonder, do certain events of the time that the show was set suddenly become unrelatable if they are told from a Black cast's perspective? Do some experiences aff...

I looked in the mirror one day and I thought, "Ugh, I've become a Fat Girl". I looked in the mirror the next day, and the next, until about a month later, I realized that when I look in the mirror, I think to myself, "I'm a fat girl".  I don't know why, but sometimes I imagine people leaving my presence to go home conversing with their spouses about how much weight Crystal gained. I imagine people who haven't seen me in years looking at me in shame because I still have "baby weight" or I'm not fit like I used to be. What I think  other people are thinking is mere flattery compared to how I started to view myself. Eating made me feel sad. Trying to eat the right things made me feel disappointed and then I would eat what I wanted. This was always followed by more negative self-talk. See, you can't do it. You might as well give up. Even when you start, you can't stick with it. You're a failure. You would think I had enough head...

So it seems that the consensus is that "the church" will never be right. No matter what. Nothing any Christian does will ever be enough. Christians have to be perfect...no Christians have to be real... no Christians have to be left... no Christians have to be right. Christians this and Christians that. Yes, I'm a Christian. But it's not me, it's those Christians over there. Everything is their fault.  You don't get brownie points for being a woke Christian and declaring your solidarity with a certain side on controversial topics. What happens after blame is placed? Christians bashing Christians. It's so tiring. No matter how much we evolve (not in our message, but our methods). As long as there's any inkling of something unacceptable, throw the whole religion away. People will continue to make blanket statements about the church and try to say that no one is attracted to it anymore, it's irrelevant, it's wrong. Don't let this make you turn ...

Because another happening with a young Black man and a Black mother... I just watched the video of the student who has passed just three classes in four years of high school. Although each year he was promoted to the next grade, his credits place him as a ninth grader, thus he was expected to start over as such. You probably have questions and comments, but here's my take. What I know as a human is that I can never fully understand anyone else's situation period. I can watch a news story, and form opinions, and it will all still be biased based on what I have and haven't experienced. Each occurrence is unique to the involved individuals ALWAYS!  I know it's easy to shake our head and give all this insight on who we think is to blame. What's the point? This kid is clearly facing some hardships and is in danger of a downward spiral in life. How can things get better? One immediate action that can be taken is to pray that God will intervene and that this family would b...

I had Valentine's Day all planned out in my head. It would start with a nice breakfast before I went to sing at church. On my way home, I was going to pick up a coffee for my husband and give it to him along with a love note. I had a zoom playdate set up for my oldest where he and a few other toddlers would do a Valentine's Day craft. Later, both our boys were going to do a painting activity. I also wanted to dress them up and take Valentines Day pictures. In the evening, I would attend a zoom birthday celebration for one of my close sisters. Then we all would have a movie night and when the boys went to sleep, I wanted my husband and I to redo the love languages test. I was going to capture pictures of each event to display on this blog post and on social media. Okay so this is how the day really went. I ended up falling asleep after my alarm went off so I was running late for church and only had time to warm up a pancake and some eggs that were supposed to be for my son. On m...

This month, people all across the world engaged in a 21-day fast; giving up something to devote more of our day to connecting with God. I don't know if you participated; and if you did, I don't know how successful you were. I had a few challenges sticking to my original plan, which is fine. The problem came when I realized that although I gave something up, I didn't really give up all that I should have in order to truly focus on seeking God and making myself available to Him. It wasn't until the very last week of the 21 days that I decided it wasn't too late to go harder. My husband hadn't really been watching much television. So I was shocked one afternoon when the tv was on and a movie was set to play. It was The Passion of the Christ . Now, this was a movie that I'd seen twice in the theater when it came out. This is also a movie that I thought sure I would never intentionally watch ever again. I saw it, I felt it. I was changed, I didn't need to wat...